Pastor [Name omitted]

As I stand at the pulpit of my church this rainy Sunday morning I begin to think back at all that God has rescued me from. Yes this is God’s house and I am a Woman Pastor of this church! Some people do not believe that God can use a woman in leadership. I believe that God can use anyone no matter what color skin, no matter man or woman, no matter what age… someone needs to cry out the name “JESUS” before the rocks do! Before you begin to doubt that God can use a woman… you might want to hear my story;

I was born in Pennsylvania in the late 1950’s to an unwed mother. I am sure she did the best she could in raising me. At age 5 my mother married her first husband, a truck driver who drank a lot. I thought he really liked me at first, until he began to sexually abuse me from the age of 5 until I was 12. He was the first real father figure in my life, so I thought that all fathers slept with their daughters. My mother and stepfather would fight a lot and when they did my mother would take it all out on me. Everything was my fault! I was told that I was nothing and that I would grow up to be nothing. I got drunk my first time at age 8. It is pretty easy when you grow up around parents that drink. One Sunday morning in church I asked Jesus to come into my heart. My stepfather was still molesting me at that time and he was an elder in that church

In time they divorced and my mother met and married another man. She was only married to him for about 2 weeks. She came to find out that he worshipped satan and tried to do things to my little sisters and me. Which is another story in itself. Then my mother met her 3rd husband. There again came a lot of physical and verbal abuse. By the time I was in 7th grade I had joined a girls’ gang in the inner city. I needed to feel someone was there for me, I needed to feel love! I went to a total of about 33 different schools growing up and left many friends behind me, after a while you get numb to it. I came to figure out in life, that life is only what you make it! Mine had a lot of pain and sorrow so I figured that I really didn’t deserve much happiness.

It’s funny how I did not want to be like my mother, yet ended up tending bar just like she had. I was a bartender in the heart of Amish country when I met my husband. He was a son of an Amish preacher and was rebelling against his parents. We dated for some time and I ended up getting pregnant. He had to go home and tell his parents that he had a girl pregnant, that she was a bartender, and that she had no Amish background. Not at all what they wanted to hear! Needless to say it did not go over well, so we moved down to Georgia and got married there. Soon we had our first daughter, soon after her I got pregnant again with twins but miscarried them at 12 weeks. About 3 years later, we had another little girl, but then depression started setting in on me. I began to question if I was a good mother or if I could do anything right. My childhood past was catching up with me!

We decided to make a move back to Ohio to be around family and friends after our 2nd daughter was born. I ended up getting pregnant again when our youngest daughter was only 10 weeks old. It was not planned, it just happened! I just knew it was a boy! Sure enough it was, but this story is another story in itself and I am writing a book about it called “Through A Mother’s Eyes I Gave Birth To An Angel” in memory of my son Michael. Yes, we had a little boy and we named him Michel Steven. He was born (stillborn)

March 21, 1990. He had been dead inside of me for a week (and we did not know it) and my body was producing gangrene in my uterus. Michael was a full term pregnancy and I had to go through natural childbirth to have him. When he was being born in got stuck inside of me and my body produced DVT (better known as blood clots). I could not believe that my pain in my life just would not stop! I hated God for taking my child, but PRAISE GOD He never gave up on me!

I was in the hospital for a long time after we buried Michael. They wanted to amputate both of my legs because all circulation and blood flow was stopping; the blood clots were multiplying and would not stop. I now had a total of 50 of them through out my entire body. I fought for every breath that came into my body, due to the 2 blood clots that were in my lungs. All of the physical and emotional pain was unbelievable! I also was hemorrhaging from just having a child, due to being on strong blood thinner. They said I would die if they did not amputate my legs…I really didn’t care about dying at least then I would not hurt so much! After a while a person just feels they cannot take it anymore, and I had reached that point! One night elders from a church I did not even know came and anointed me with oil and prayed over me. They read from the Bible James 5:13-15 “Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is any one happy? Let him sing songs of praise. Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven.”

That night something happened in my life that will be with me forever! I saw and felt things that are not of this world. Do I believe in Jesus you ask? You bet I do!! That night out of the Lord’s Great Mercy… He healed me. I gave my whole heart back to Jesus and asked Him to come into my life. I was released 2 days later from the hospital with only 1 blood clot in my main artery to my heart. The doctor said that it was unexplainable and I should have died. I was told I could never have a child again due to the clots; I now have another little boy named James. The Lord gave me a second chance at life to bring “hope” to people and let them now that He is real! That was 16 years ago, now look at my life! It is forbidden for a woman to be a Pastor in Amish country. They believe that women are to be silent. Where I live in Amish country there are Amish kids, Amish teenagers and Amish adults having sex, they are drinking and doing drugs. No one wants to take care of these problems! We have some Amish that are sleeping with their daughters, their nieces, and their grand children. even some into perversion sin with animals. Maybe you do not have a problem with this and can look the other way. Me I cannot, my Bible tells me that this is a sin!! Who will help them? I told the Lord a long time ago that I would do as He asks me, even if it means helping to witness to the Amish.

I have been in ministry for over 12 years now, and been a Pastor for 3. I have spoken at so many churches and women’s retreats. There are so many stories that I could tell people of what all is going on in this world. So many people say they want to make a difference and help people, but they never do it. They are afraid of what people may say. Me, I heard it all as a child. I know pain, so if I can bring “hope” to someone, it is worth everything to me! I have seen hundreds of people’s lives get changed before my very eyes over the past 12 years in Ministry. There are so many testimonies and praise reports! I would not trade my life for anything nor do I regret what I have been though. Because of my past, I have been able to share about the LOVE and MERCY of Jesus Christ. So many people think they know the word of God and can judge others. But doesn’t it say that the greatest gift of all is love? Where is that love? When a man is molesting a child? When a mother is beating her child? In the screams of the parents yelling back and forth? In the bottom of a beer bottle? In the judging of others? Who is truly out there to help to reach the lost? And who is in it for the money and the fame? Paul was a friend with women in leadership. He knew that the Lord loved men and women equally. He always showed respect and love… what has happened to that kinda love? You say you do not believe in a Woman Pastor…. that is fine, I don’t want you to believe in me… I just want you to believe in the one who sent me! For aren’t we all suppose to be working together to win souls for Jesus? We should not be coming against each other, where is the gift of LOVE?

Just one of God’s Faithful Servants,

Pastor [name deleted]