Good Morning Terrence, from DownUnder (Melbourne, Australia).

Some comments below from one who’s ‘been there’ (a personal experience with a large church in Canada in the early 1980s), and who in the context of John Mark Ministries, talks/listens to pastors, ex-pastors and their spouses every day…

Shalom! Rowland Croucher Director, John Mark Ministries: counseling and consulting services for pastors, ex-pastors, church leaders and managers. http://jmm.aaa.net.au (4200+ articles)

http://priscillasfriends.org/ (Pastors’ wives)

A Reflection by Geraldine Hawkins

Have you ever noticed that many Christians have a habit that is extremely abusive? They will provoke you to righteous anger and then turn around and condemn you for being angry! I am a refugee from a large Episcopal church in downtown New York where the rector was forced out by the vestry. I saw a good man slandered out of his job for no good reason. I am haunted by the prophetic words Lloyd Rediger (author of Clergy Killers) gave to me when I called him for advice: “It won’t be your rector’s enemies who do him in – it will be the neutral people.” When I confront parishioners who have remained in a church that I left because I could not bear the hypocrisy and corruption, I am frequently answered with the statements below. It would be helpful to know what the victims of similar abuses would say by way of response. Perhaps the collected responses could form a kind of defensive weapon for clergy against the hypocrisy and confusion found in Christian circles. Some of the statements below are just fatuous; others are compelling and worth addressing because they are (though taken out of context?) the words of Christ Himself. The viciousness of the perpetrators is bad enough; but the rationalizations and faint-heartedness of the well-intentioned-including many of my old friends-have destroyed my ability to speak to them with anything resembling charity or lightness of heart or understanding. As you can see, this is a cry for help as much as anything else, and I hope that it will help others as well, if only by providing a forum and a chance for wounded clergy to unburden themselves, and to know that someone is listening. You may think that your parishioners don’t care, but some of them do care very, very much.

1. “Judge not, lest ye be judged,” and variations thereon, e.g., “It is not my business to judge the vestry, the bishop, the congregation,” etc. (conveniently forgetting that the pastor has been “judged” out of town).

Comment: The New Testament prohibitions against judging have more to do with slander than with standing up for the truth. A better text in this situation: ‘Anyone, then, who knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, commits sin’ (James 4:17).

2. “It’s time for the church to work on forgiveness and healing.” (Said after having ganged up on a cleric, assassinated his character, forced him to lose his job, given him gallstones, etc.)

Comment: Authentic _Christian_ forgiveness and healing are always the concomitant of ‘walking in the light’ – ie. repentance.

3. “Love your enemies.”

Comment: authentic love sometimes involves naming the hypocrisy (as Jesus and Paul did so often) that separates a person from their better selves.

4. “But that’s the Old Testament!” (The reaction I have occasionally received when citing the prophets to recall a community to accountability, truth, and justice.)

Comment: The mark of a Pharisee, according to Jesus, is that he/she knows the Bible and misses the point. The main point/s? ‘Justice, mercy, faithfulness’ (Matthew 23:23, Luke 11:42).

5. “You’re asking me to hate!”

Comment: the opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference.

6. “You made enemies … you were aggressive …let go of your anger’.”

Comment: It is true that in conflictual situations in churches some protagonists and antagonists say unwise and divisive things in church meetings. Every avenue ought to have been explored to see justice done privately with the leader/s before the church meeting – which is ‘an occasion of last resort’.

7. “Christians are not supposed to sue.”

Comment: Taking fellow-believers to court must always be a last resort (1 Corinthians 6). However, a clear ministry-description for the pastor and well-defined lines of accountability for everybody are essential prerequisites for happy working relationships in the church.

8. “He wasn’t a good rector for everybody.”

Comment: This touches the greatest social problem in Western churches, I believe. The consumer culture has invaded the church. Pastor and people are not united ‘for better or for worse’ but, as in secular commecial organizations these days, until the pastor ‘fails to perform.’ And ‘performance’ is measured – albeit unconsciously most of the time – against film and television performances. Parishioners in Western countries watch between 15-20 hours of television a week – and then come to church. They bring expectations of the pastor-as-preacher, pastor-as-counselor, pastor-as-productive which are, for 99% of pastors, unreasonable. The consumer culture is less about serving one another, encouraging one another, forbearance with one another, than with getting ‘value for tithes and time’.

9. “‘He opened not his mouth’ before His accusers,” and variations on “Jesus let himself get pushed around.”

Jesus did not let himself get pushed around in the context of religious leaders’ hypocrisy. However, there is sometimes a case for silence when one is unjustly accused. But, on the other hand, I remember an apostle who didn’t take it in this situation either, but made his accusers march him out of time in public, for all to see!

And now, my favorite:

10. “We need to move on.”

Yes, the church needs to move on, but not without due process having been done, and seen to be done. Not without deep repentance and contrition. The church is not primarily a commercial or social organization with some religion tacked on. It’s a redeemed (and in one sense yet-to-be-fully redeemed) community of faith. We are sisters and brothers in a family of love. We love as Jesus loved – with strength and humility. We care for the weak, the powerless. We demonstrate to a knife-in-your-back world the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit.

Geraldine A. Hawkins, March 31, 2001

Send your responses to The Editor of The ANVIL at , or by fax 506-856-7075.

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http://www.etgrafx.ca http://members.nbci.com/etgrafx/aec (My personal page)

members.nbci.com/etgrafx (New Brunswick Fostering)

http://www.coalitionagainstabuse.com (Violence free relationships)

http://www.canadianfosterfamily.com (The CFFA)

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