Here’s the good news: The Golden Compass does not promote atheism. It isn’t going to steal your children. It does not signal the end of hope for religion in the West. That’s the good news. Here’s the bad news: it promotes the same, shallow “don’t touch my stuff or I’ll kill you” message that appears in so much of popular culture. But more than this, in spite of delightful visual imagery, and a couple of performances in which it’s clear the actors are having fun (an icy Nicole Kidman, and the great English theatrical knight Derek Jacobi to name two), it’s simply a boring film.

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