The “Virtues ” of Stephanie Dowrick.

by Stephanie Dowrick, Viking, 1997. RRP $22.95

IMAGINE ADVOCATING COURAGE, fidelity, restraint, generosity, tolerance and forgiveness to Australians at the end of this millennium!

Courage might pass muster, but the topic might be expected to laud the deeds of war and glory. Forget fidelity and restraint; they even sound odd! Surely they limit personal freedom?

Generosity sounds limp in the competitive framework of economic rationalism. Tolerance is fine, as a cover for being compliant, hypocritical and half alive, but recent debates show it is not deeply rooted in our national psyche. And forgiveness? Well, that is only for suckers, surely.

The best-selling Forgiveness and Other Acts of Love is, I suspect, a book most people will find challenging. Because Dowrick herself struggled with the challenge of each virtue, her book speaks with authenticity and avoids being ‘preachy.’ If people who read this book take the time to reflect on their lives against the demands of Forgiveness and Other Acts of Love, then Dowrick has done a service to a society not noted for valuing self-awareness.

I didn’t know what to expect when I began the book. I knew it had received good reviews, but I also have a resistance to a homogenized spirituality, even if “New Age” self-help can capture a market that no overtly “religious” book is likely to attract. But, as I finished it, I rejoiced that someone had creatively named these virtues; virtues that challenge us to affirm and develop a more respectful appreciation of ourselves and each other.

If there is a theme that speaks through each of Dowricks’ chapters it is the call to confront honestly the attitudes, actions and responses that make us the people we are. Stephanie Dowrick takes seriously human experience, and challenges her readers to recognise the value of simple moments in life and relationships, while at the same time growing beyond an easy accommodation of behaviours that contribute to negativity in our world. She has a rare gift of swimming against the tide, without condemning those who show a more lemming-like tendency.

Dowrick encourages a dialogue between spirituality, psychology and daily life. She calls on a wide range of Eastern as well as Christian mystics, and her approach suggests she has allowed these to challenge her rather than using them merely as a treasure trove of quotes. These timeless insights provide a way of encapsulating the wisdom that emerges from stories and snippets of lives in which we can recognise our own.

THIS BOOK INTEGRATES a feminist perspective in an inclusive rather than explicit way. Dowrick respects experience, takes for granted the equal value of women, appreciates the power of story, questions preoccupations that drive our public and personal lives and invites reflection. Such a methodology brings life to each virtue and respects both male and female readers.

Generosity, tolerance and forgiveness have been expected of women over the centuries. Fidelity and restraint also. Courage has been lived by women, even if frequently lauded as a “manly” virtue. While the imposition of such virtues on one gender has been criticised and rightly rejected in recent decades, most of us know that the living of these virtues forged some wonderful women of tenderness, strength, wisdom and vision. Dowrick does not engage with any notions of gender specificity, but presents these virtues as qualities integral to good human living.

The horizon against which these six virtues are explored shows that the personal is and will continue to be political. We can begin to change society by addressing our own behaviour, recognising our “shadow” side and reclaiming as valuable these aspects of social behaviour which have been denigrated as weak. Her emphasis on reflective awareness of ourselves and honesty about our behaviour calls into question the busyness, instant gratification and profit-seeking that characterise our society. But she critiques the macro world by emphasising the importance of where we can make a difference, rather than by sweeping condemnations. She recognises the importance of structures, but also that our impact will be greater if we work first on ourselves.

Dowrick uses story and experience to illustrate and encapsulate ideas that otherwise sound too demanding. I found some stories quite moving.

One example was when Dowrick showed that the parent of an intellectually disabled teenage girl, who was beginning menstruation, was in her care demonstrating courage. This story and others she draws from spiritual writers might entice people to take further this dialogue between personal experience and various traditions, and even explore their own originating tradition more deeply.

CB

Reproduced courtesy of ‘Shoo the messenger’ website: http://www.shootthemessenger.com.au. That site is worth a visit