Notes for a Reflection/Bible Study for our Wednesday Koinonia group 22 March 2012. Although they’re rough notes/headings, you’ll get the idea. I’ve tried to summarize about 600 pages of pre-reading on the subject into one page! Feel free to use this in your small group.

 A.     INTRODUCTION — Love of self – command or assumption?

– Thesis: [Move from] - ‘Love of self for self’s sake’, through ‘Love of God for self’s sake’,  beyond ‘love of God for God’s sake’, to the highest level: ‘Love of self for God’s sake’ [1]

– Who am I? Am I truly loved and loveable? Do I really matter? Why am I here? Can I make a difference?

— ‘Without knowledge of self there is no knowledge of God’ [2]

 B.     BIBLE & SELF . – Imago Dei. Self = heart, relate to God: (love). (Spirit? Soul? Mind?)  BUT  Evil, sin.

(‘Total depravity’ ???).  Paul’s list (lusts): sexual immorality, impurity, debauchery, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, discord, jealousy, rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions, envy, drunkenness/addictions, carousing (Ga. 5:19+)

 C.     PSYCHOLOGY. Affection/belonging/boundaries from significant others/community – more important than achievements/acclaim from non-significant others (why are successful people often plagued with low self-esteem?). And if parents etc. failed? Self vs Ego? ‘Me’ vs ‘We’ (gangs, teams). Repression/ unconscious. Dreams? Psychology = discerning God’s human creation, but without Grace = humanism. Aim of counseling: to encourage self-acceptance [3], feel worthwhile [4], affirm one’s worth [5]. Q: Is self-esteem always a virtue? (Isaac Watts – ‘for such a worm as I’ vs. Robert Schuller – Christianity is more about your ‘self’ than about God).           

D.     SELF-HATRED. Aetiology: hidden hurts, unforgiven sin, self-deception, deep fears, abuse, trauma… Failure to measure up to ‘ideal’/‘ought’ self… ‘We all have inferiority complexes’ [6] comparisons vs. compassion   

— blaming rather than accepting responsibility 

— filling the emptiness with addictions. ‘The greatest enemy of the spiritual life is self-rejection because it contradicts the Voice that calls you Beloved.’ [7]. We can’t truly love others if we debase ourselves.

— David – a ‘man after my own heart’… How can God say that about an adulterer/violent man?

— God of Jesus – inclusive. Sun shines on good and evil; rain falls on the just and unjust

E.     EGOTISTICAL SELF-LOVE.      (Group photos: who do you look for first?).  

‘Agape excludes all selflove’ [8] Admit your weaknesses and failings, hold a humble opinion of yourself [9] ‘Haughty spirit’ [10] à

— hubris, conceit, pride, narcissism, impression-management

‘Praise/encouragement’ vs flattery? Cure?

— ‘Lord give me one good humiliation every day please’ [11]

F.      SELF-DENIAL. Jesus: If you want to be my disciple, deny yourself, take up your cross and follow me’ [12]

‘New creation’ – renewal of the Creator’s image (Col 3:9-11, 2 Cor 5:17). Eph 4:22-24: three stages: (1) putting off the old self, which belongs to the former way of life; (2) being renewed in one’s mind; and (3) putting on the new self. ‘Put off’ and ‘put on’ in (1) and (3) – past tense, a completed action (perhaps baptism; see Col 2:8-15). ‘Made new’ in (2) – present tense, indicating a continuing development of a Christ-like spiritual attitude. ‘It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me’ [13]  ‘If a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies… it brings forth much fruit’ [14]

G.    NURTURING THE SELF – SPIRITUAL DISCIPLINES:  solitude, silence, sacrifice, simplicity, study/Scripture, stillness, sobriety, but most importantly, submission to the will of God  

– ‘Don’t let anyone crucify you who can’t resurrect you!’

– Am I who I think I am?

– I am flawed, but I am loved.

– Start loving yourself (in the best sense) by agreeing with God: stop hating yourself!

~~ 

[1] Bernard of Clairvaux [2] John Calvin – introduction to Institutes [3] Carl Rogers  [4] William Glasser [5] Virginia Satir [6] John Powell  [7] Henri Nouwen  [8] Anders Nygren [9] Thomas a Kempis [10] Pr 16:18 [11] Richard Rohr, see Ph 2:3 [12] Mt 16:24, Lk 14:27 [13] Gal 2:20 [14] Jesus: John 12:24

More… Grace and Disgrace: A Theology of Self-Esteem, Society, and History (Neil Ormerod), The Reciprocating Self: Human Development in Theological Perspective (Jack O. Balswick), Amish Grace: How Forgiveness Transcended Tragedy (Jossey-Bass, San Francisco), Me Myself and I (Arch Hart). 

Rowland Croucher    jmm.aaa.net.au    [email protected]