EX-GAY AWAY
AUTHOR // Anthony Venn-Brown
July 23, 2012
Slowly but surely, the ex-gay movement is losing its might, as evident by increasing admissions that therapies to change one’s sexual orientation does not work, writes Anthony Venn-Brown.
Exodus International, the make-a-wish foundation for self-loathing homosexuals, is in crisis.
It began with Exodus director Alan Chambers’ honest admission to a gay Christian conference in January that 99.9 percent of people he’s met had never changed their sexual orientation. Eleven ministries defected and some evangelical leaders called for Chambers’ resignation.
In April, Dr Robert Spitzer renounced his often ex-gay quoted study that sexual orientation change is possible and apologised to the gay community.
Last month Exodus issued a statement that it no longer supports reparative therapy. And at the Exodus conference earlier this month, Chambers, in very contrite and sober tones, burst the bubble for many attendees admitting that Exodus had got it wrong on a number of levels.
A little known fact is that several years before Exodus came into existence in 1976, in the late 60s, Australia had an ex-gay ministry operating both in Sydney and Brisbane.
Australia ‘ex-gay’ ministries have been in decline for some time. Research by Ambassadors & Bridge Builders International discovered that in the last decade, over 60 percent of ministries and support groups offering help for those with ‘unwanted same-sex attraction’ have shut down in Australia and New Zealand. At this rate they should completely disappear by 2020.
There has also been a progressive white-anting of the Exodus ‘change is possible’ message.
Initially the Exodus message was simply God can do a miracle if you pray hard enough or have the demon of homosexuality cast out of you – the ‘magic wand’ approach. When it was obvious this wasn’t working, ministries moved into a more therapeutic model, believing homosexuality was caused by poor parenting or sexual abuse. The term ‘reparative therapy’ was created and heterosexuality was still the goal.
The most recent phase has the admission that those with ‘unwanted same-sex attraction’ will experience a life-long struggle. Or as one Australian ex-gay leader amusingly put it to a seeker of straightness: “You will always walk with a limpâ€Â. Not much hope in that message is there? Especially to those wanting so desperately to be ‘normal’ and accepted.
Australia’s ex-gay movement had a brief love affair with Exodus from 1978 to the late 80s and it looked like they had joined the growing band of ministries ‘raised up by God’ to set homosexuals free. But all was not well. When the US-based Exodus became increasingly political in the 90s, Australian ex-gay leaders began to distance themselves. They stepped down from international positions and rarely attended conferences. They were still happy to be on the referral list though.
We’ve been de-constructing the ex-gay myth in Australia for some time now.
In 2007, I approached five former Australian ex-gay leaders for apologies and statements. John Meteyard, former Exodus Asia Pacific & Living Waters Leader who had been on the International Advisory Board of Exodus said: “In the past I have been ardent in my opinion that homosexual orientation was unquestioningly a result of the ‘fall’ and God’s intention was therefore always to heal the same-sex attracted believer and help them to be ‘whole’. In the past I have frequently spoken publicly in support of these views. However, my position is now somewhat different. I now believe that it is crucially important that we all learn to respect the rights and choices of gay and lesbian believers as they work through the complexities of their unique situation with God in their own way and in their own timeâ€Â.
Several journalists have gone undercover to get inside stories with varying degrees of success. This has made ex-gay leaders a little gun shy and find themselves now having to grill enquirers deeper just to make sure they are not another wolf in sheep clothing. One journalist had his cover blown twice.
Then there was the insightful documentary The Cure. The film, which screened at this year’s Mardi Gras Film Festival, gave us a view into the life of an ex-gay leader, Ron Brookman. When asked if he still had homosexual thoughts during an interview, the now-married leader of the Living Waters program seemed to get unnecessarily side-tracked as he talked about a young man’s thigh he saw recently. Needless to say, he failed to share this when he fronted a Senate Inquiry to speak against marriage equality.
The Age in Melbourne did a front page story and The Sun Herald a double page spread the same weekend on ex-gay ministries. It wasn’t pretty. Previously reluctant to talk to the media, ex-gay ministry newsletters the following week revealed they had further closed ranks and were licking their wounds.
Where does this leave the dwindling number of ex-gay ministries in Australia? Hanging on for dear life like the proverbial shag on the rock while the rest of society, gay Christians and a growing number of churches and denominations move on to more enlightened understandings of sexual orientation.
Don’t think that it’s the end just yet though. Institutions always rise when they feel threatened, but it is a sign the end is nigh.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Anthony Venn-Brown
Anthony Venn-Brown never imagined he’d be quoted in the gay press or a leader in the LGBT community. In another life he was a married father of two and popular preacher in Australia’s mega-churches. As a author, educator and public speaker, he is passionate about overcoming ignorance and misinformation about sexuality in the religious world. In his spare time … oooops … there doesn’t seem to be any. Follow him on Twitter @gayambassador
~~
http://gaynewsnetwork.com.au/feature/ft-national/7904-ex-gay-away.html
~~
From Anthony:  Some of your readers might be interested in the extended version of this article which is on my blog. The 800 word count for articles means some important things couldn’t be developed as I would have liked. But you will find this rectified in this article http://
~~
And again:  http://
APA appointed the six-member Task Force on Appropriate T
“Unfortunately, much of the research in the area of sexual orientation change contains serious design flaws,” Glassgold said. “Few studies could be considered methodologically sound and none systematically evaluated potential harms.”
~~
Facebook comment from Daniel Batt: Anthony, you talk as if every gay male is on the far (gay) end of Kinsey’s spectrum, whereas a lot of men can go through a gay phase in their 20s, or chop and change between being bi to gay to hetero, which is what I see among my non-Christian friends who don’t really believe in God in a way Christians would recognise.
Kinsey’s research was both valuable and misleading. It was valuable in that it was the first real in-depth study into human sexuality, diversity and sexual experience of real value. It gave us a view into what was pretty much a hidden, private world because of a tut tut attitude towards sex created by a Victorian mindset. Things were pretty repressed whilst I was growing up in the 50’s before I became a teenager. So for Kinsey to be doing his research before that time was ground breaking.
Kinsey’s research was misleading in that the concept of sexual orientation was yet to be really understood. It has since evolved substantially and we know that a person’s sexual orientation includes love, intimacy, affection, attraction, who we fantasise about and the preferred gender a person wants to partner with for life. Kinsey focused pretty much on sexual experience/behaviour and discovered that nearly 40% of males have had a same sex experience to the point of organism. This high percentage were obviously not gay so it was useful to put them on a spectrum/scale. It was interesting to observe the body language when a shared this little statistic to a group of Pentecostal ministers recently who had invited me to speak.
We know that men do have sex with men but this doesn’t mean that they are same sex oriented or bi-sexual. It happens in same sex environments such as the military, boarding schools and prisons. It is much more about sexual gratification or, in adolescence, experimentation as well. Some gay men will take on the identity of bi-sexual because it helps explain their experience and it’s a safe space for them on their journey to accepting their gay identity. The gay identity is loaded with many things e.g. un-masculine, shame, guilt, weak ….to name a few so they resist the term and identity. Some gay men in straight marriages that I work with might tell me they think they are bi-sexual. I totally understand this as I did this myself for some time as it gave me an explanation for why I could have a sexual relationship with my wife. When I ask these men some very personal straight forward questions it becomes pretty clear that their orientation is towards the same sex not the opposite. They are what I have come to call situational heterosexuals ( http://
Now to the female experience.
If you know much about gay men and lesbians you will know that homosexual males and females are not a homogenous unit. John Gray’s best seller Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus highlighted the enormous differences between males and females and understanding and accepting these differences created more harmonious relationships and marriages. Gay men are not from Mars and gay women not from Venus we are actually from different universes; the differences are so pronounced.
Research has shown that for females bisexuality and sexual fluidity is much more common and the Kinsey scale is very useful in explaining their experience. Their experience is linked to what I mentioned previously about orientation and not just sexual behaviour. For example there are a number of women I have worked with or spoken to who fell in love with their best friend or another woman. They are now in a relationship (both emotional and sexual) and have been for years. Most likely it will be lifelong. In some of those relationships one or both of the women do not identify as lesbian. It is extremely difficult to imagine this happening within the male context. It would look something like this. Two men at the local footy club fall in love with each other, one gay one straight or both straight, they shack up together and partner for life. “Oh I just fell in love with my best buddy. We are not gay”. This is not only hard to comprehend I have not heard of it happening to any males.
There was one well publicised quite bizarre case of a straight 26 year old who had an accident and stroke and when he came out of that he was gay. ( http://
So while bi-sexuality and sexual fluidity is not uncommon in the female population to find a genuine bi-sexual male who will equally fall in love, be affectionate towards, want to spend their lives with a person of either gender is quite rare.
Discussion
Comments are disallowed for this post.
Comments are closed.