Scientology: Our toys cost forty thousand dollars each (and you still get regular old toys), and we must kill all who play with the toys of other gods.

Judaism – We were chosen not to have any toys. Any toys that we did have were taken away. (And your mother even made you feel guilty about that, didn’t she?)

Islam – There is only one toy and if you don’t want to play with it, you’re dead.

Freemasonry – Toys? Who said anything about toys.

Yardyism – Touch ma toy an’ I gonna blow yo head off.

Marcel Marceauism –

Cosa Nostraism – You ‘never’ mention the toy. Y’unnerstan’?

Paganism : You pinched all of your toys from us